Good evening
Hey guys sorry I havent written in a while alots been going on, the amitriptyline I have to take for pain helps my headaches but not my dizziness, im waiting on a reference leter to the hospital to see a neurologist fun times.
Anxirty has been decent not thr best but not the worst so im coping, I got a job at a spa ive been there for a month now ans I do 3 days a week and I really enjoy it but it's tiring.
My brothers fiance moved in with us and its been about 3 weeks and ....... I did like her and I was excited about her moving in but now I feel like second best to my parents, ever since shes moved in they act differently there not as laid back as they used to be their like to happy if that makes sense like their trying to hard, my dad used to have nice little Talks with me but now he has them with her and just moans at me, he seems more on edge with me and moans to me about being cold he will just say "put more clothes on then" and im sat there in jeans and 3 jumpers, everything I do irritates him, and with ny mum I used to have talks with her And spend time with her but not anymore, Im always in my bedroom and I can always hear them talking and laughing, she will help mum with dinner which is what I used to do, if I go spend time with mum shes there and they will talk like im not there I cant get a word in. It Hurts, I had a cold the other week and a slight stomach bug and I didnt eat anything but no one asked how I was I fell asleep in the middle of the day woke up a few hours later did anyone ask if I was okay? No, my mum used to give me hugs when I was ill but she didnt, I was pretty much ignored when I was ill.
Just had dinner, and as you no im a beauty therapist so I got loads of nail varnishes, anyway at dinner my bros fiance says "I got like a bucket of nail varnish ill go get it " and brings it Out and was showing me all and my mum was like " Ohhh woooowww thats loads blimey" and im thinking I have more than that, I just wanted to say " wow you got a bucket of cheap nail varnishes, really not that impressive as ive got a bigger box if proper long lasting varnishes" but I didnt because I'm not a bitch.
I feel completely replaced, my mum goes to her now if she has a question or something funny to say instead of me, if I didnt come out of my room they wouldnt care, ive totally been replaced im second best.
I rarely see my brother and I miss him so much! We dont talk anymore have little jokes or hang out, I feel like I dont belong in my own house ane the only person that cares is my boyfriend.
It doesnt help my anxiety either. On my birthday the 13th of march all the talk was about the wedding, didnt even feel like a birthday I feel like ive missed it this year.
Anyone got any advice?
:'( Thanks
Pearlbeauty01
