Hello world

Hello world,

This is my first blog and im kinda nervous I've never done anything like this before, its a strange feeling. I feel like i have to worry about my grammar like im back at school in English but no one cares right every ones just hear to read about peoples lives and get advice and tips.

So i find myself sometimes talking to myself and i go on and on to my friend sometimes about random things that i can tell they get bored so i thought why not start a blog, you can write whatever fizz's up inside you and just be you with no one telling you to be different. I wanna feel like someone, somewhere is reading and listening to what ive got to say even if no one likes or comments, i dont care im just here to be me.

So more about me - im 18 years old (19 in march ahh), i have a boyfriend who is also 18 and we have been going out for 3 years. The last few years have been tough on me, 2013 i got anxiety and it targeted my throat causing me to have strange feelings and a wierd lump feeling in my throat (that feeling you get just before you cry) i got it when i ate so i got scared things got stuck in my throat and scared i was gunna choke so i stopped eating, everytime i put food in my mouth i would have a panic attack because i was scared it would get stuck because of this lump feeling, i lost 2 stone in 2 months, i was 8 stone and went down to 6. I got it in january 2013 and in feb - march i didnt have solids i just had these nutrition drinks called build ups that i got from my drug store, just to help keep some calories going in. My birthday is in march and 2013 on my 17th birthday i wasnt eating, i was having nutrition drinks, the only thing i could eat was ice cream and chocolate so instead of a birthday cake i had birthday ice cream, my family got chips from the chip shop while i sat there drinking my drink and eating ice cream, no one sang happy birthday to me, my boyfriend was at work at the time, it was the most depressing birthday ever. 
So i had hospital appointments and i had to drink this radioactive liquid and the put this xray machine up to me while i swallowed and watch it go down to see if it got stuck and it didnt, so they put me to sleep and put a camera down my throat into my stomach and found nothing and my heart dropped because i wanted medication to help, i felt so weak i felt like i couldnt get better by myself i didnt wanna believe it was anxiety. 
They told me to see a nutritionist and she gave me ideas of mushy foods i could start eating again, kinda like trying to teach a baby to eat. They also said i needed to see a psychiatrist in august and he would help with anxiety and helping me get over the fear of choking.
So august 2013 i saw my therapist and finished out therapy in Jan 2014.
I loved therapy he was so nice to me and actually took the time out to get to no me instead of forcing me to eat, he understand i wasnt anorexic or bulimic or have any kind of eating disorder, it was simply anxiety, and my anxiety triggers my throat to tense. He helped me to start eating again and when we finished therapy i was 85% better and now 1 year later im 100%. I still get fall backs here and there with food and i still have anxiety but its just general teenage anxiety now.

So all of last year i was looking for a job while still at college and i had 4 jobs, one bullied me, one told me she couldnt afford to keep me on, and one said they where to busy to train me, the last one was just a summer job. After having struggles with eating and being so skinny and so weak i couldnt do anything, last year was gunna be my year i got my weight and energy back and i could do things for myself again i could get a job but no one gave me that opportunity. So wish me good luck for 2015 i finish college in may so i better have a job by then!

Wish me good luck and thanks for listening and reading if anyone did,
See ya next time,
PearlBeauty01